Posts Tagged: imaginary friends

family life — No Comments
7
Sep 11

Imaginary Friends and Your Children

Imaginary friends stress parents the most. They panic and start wondering whether it is necessary to take their child to a psychologist or if they don’t spend enough time with them.

According to psychologists, parents should not be worried if their kids have imaginary friends. They usually appear when children are in their second or third year and disappear by the time they start going to school. Around seventy percent of children have such friends. Imaginary friends are more common with children who have no brothers and sisters, and for one reason or another, they feel alone, misunderstood, or rejected. Sometimes, it is a symptom of all these, and parents should spend more time with their children. But not only kids who feel lonely have imaginary friends. Children who are more creative and sensitive invent friends as well. They can talk to them and act out different roles and emotions.

According to Karen Mayors, a psychologist at the Institute of Education in London, imaginary friends may not be a signal of a problem but rather, they show that you have a more imaginative child.

Kids who have such friends may be more timid than others, but this does not mean they have problems with their peers. Imaginary friends boost the confidence of children, making them feel more secure.

The invisible friend can take the blame for the child’s pranks or be the excuse why the child refuses to eat. Or the friend may want to play or go for a walk in the park.

Sometimes, the invisible friend is not only a playmate but also protects the child. The child tells his friend, with whom they are presently in conflict: “I will tell my friend to beat you.” And this may seem scary enough to be left alone. Boys usually choose older imaginary friends. Perfect example of this is Karlsson, who lives on the roof. It is close enough to the child and can be called whenever the child wishes. But when the friend is not around, the kid may suffer. Girls like to have younger friends so that they can take care of them. They can have tea with them, share their secrets, complain, and just do whatever makes them feel comfortable. In any case, imaginary friends are a phase; don’t embarrass your kid telling them the friend does not exist. In most cases, they do know that.

self-knowledge — No Comments
3
Sep 11

Imaginary Friends: Better Than Real Ones?

An different title can be, “Why are your imaginary friends are better than your real ones.” Ah, lets see why is that.

  • You can count that imaginary friends will be around when you need them. Imagine you broke up with your girlfriend/ boyfriend and feeling so alone. You decide to call your best friend. Not only is she not home, she is actually out with a new guy. She’s not picking up her cell. There is nothing that can make you feel worse than this. With your imaginary friend, all you have to do is talk. They’ll be there, listening. Or they could talk and you will listen. You get to choose who does the talking and who does the listening. This is perfect because most real people do not listen at all. All they do is wait until it’s their turn to speak.
  • They’ll never make you pay the bigger part of the check when you go out. And all this after we thought we had found the answer to the whole check thing by going Dutch. Sometimes you know people who are great in every respect, except for this. They’ll ask you out to a drink, proceed to order a three-course meal and then go Dutch. And all you had was that lousy little beer. Who says you can’t take your best imaginary friend out to dinner? Of course, the waiter may look at you weird. Don’t let him make you feel uncomfortable. How does he know he’s not the one who doesn’t exist?
  • Imaginary friends will never call you up crying in the middle of the night. Yes, you should be there for your friends. But should you be available ALL THE TIME? It’s one in the morning, and she calls. What could be so important? Her house burned down? So? It was insured, right? Can’t she just get another, what with the way real estate prices are dropping these days? Her dog died in the fire? That is so said, but… She doesn’t have where to sleep? Oh, well.

 

Why is it normal for children aged 3 – 4 to have imaginary friends and not for us adults? If you didn’t have one when you were a kid, what’s wrong with having one now? They say children learn to model interpersonal relationships through imaginary friends. Often, these children are the only children in the family, but sometimes they are the oldest. Having an imaginary friend does not mean the child is lonely. These children (and adults) are usually very creative and sensitive. Imaginary friends provide companionship, help them test out negative feelings and emotions like anger, hatred or fear, and allow them to sustain a private life at a time when they feel they have no control over anything.

There are thousands of movies about psychopathic killers who claim an imaginary person or other creature told them to commit their crimes. They are not lying. Auditory hallucinations are actually quite common in schizophrenia. These people do hear voices, but what they hear is their own internal voice. They do not recognize it as their own because of certain (not clearly determined as of yet) neurological deficiencies and because (yes) it is saying things that are scary and shocking to them. So, don’t do everything your imaginary friend tells you.